Carry Me Home
by bluefuzzyelf
Summary: Inuyasha’s been wounded and is trapped in a sleep in which visions of a life he doesn't remember plague him. A life in which he was not a small child running from humans to become a nervous young man in love with a miko, but something else completely.
1. Chapter One

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Title: Carry Me Home

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Rating: PG-13 and R for violence and occasional sexual implications

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Summary: Inuyasha's been wounded and is trapped in a sleep in which visions of a life he doesn't remember plague him. A life in which he was not a small child running from humans to become a nervous young man in love with a miko, but something else completely.

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Disclaimer: Copyright for Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and the author does not write for profit

****

Author(ess): bluefuzzyelf

Chapter One

"Why won't you fucking DIE!"

On the last word, Inuyasha ripped the moth youkai in half. Kagome ran to the corpse and dug two shards out of it's antennae before it could pull itself back together and then made her way through the blood and gore towards the hanyou.

Inuyasha was standing, though he looked a little pale. He fell just as Kagome got to him. She yelped and caught him.

"Help!" Miroku, who was closest, came and helped her hold the unconscious hanyou up. "Oh no" Kagome looked him over, but couldn't see what or where the source of his ailment was. Why did his clothes have to be red, anyway?

Kagome opened the front of his haori and saw the large wound in his shoulder, oozing puss and blood. She reeled at the smell. _It shouldn't smell like that at all,_ thought Kagome. "Miroku"

Miroku looked at her, worried by the tone in her voice. "Yes, Kagome?"

"We need to get him to a healerHe's been poisoned."

Miroku nodded curtly and motioned for Sango. The two of them carried the hanyou over to Kirara and secured him to the firecat's back.

Luckily, they had just left a village, and so it was not a long walk back. Miroku was the one to go ask for help, and he came back with a nod and directions to the healer's home.

The group crowded at the hut's door, Miroku knocking politely.

"Yes?" It was a woman's voice.

"Konnich'wa. We have an injured here and were told you were a healer."

There was a slight pause. "Yes. Come in."

Miroku opened the door cautiously. Kagome helped Sango carry Inuyasha in. He was _heavy_. The woman was nowhere to be seen.

"Where should we lay him?"

The voice came again, disembodied and to their left. "On that pallet there, in the corner." They lay him down, Kagome sitting near him and wiping his sweaty forehead with one of her handkerchiefs.

There was a rustle of cloth, and the mysterious woman emerged from the shadows. The groups gasped collectively at the sight of her.

The healer was not human. Her hair was the same silky white silver as Inuyasha's, her eyes were a mix of green and silver, and her hands were clawed. Kagome's eyes automatically flicked to the top of her head, expecting to see Inuyasha's ears. They were there. Slightly larger, and, unexpectedly pierced, two silver hoops in one and three in the other.

The lady walked over to Inuyasha and opened his haori. Seeing the wound, her nose wrinkled a bit, and she picked up one of the various bowls around the pallet. It was full of some milky liquid, and she poured it onto Inuyasha's shoulder.

Kagome winced when Inuyasha hissed and bared his fangs.

The healer showed no emotion as she quickly mopped the hanyou's shoulder with a clean rag, pressed a poultice of some heavily scented herbs into the wound and bandaged it up tightly.

No one spoke the entire time. When the healer sat back and wiped her brow, they all started.

"Will he be okay?" Shippou's little voice startled Kagome. The healer's mouth curled up in the corners in a faint smile.

"Yes, little one, he'll be fine." Her speech pattern was informal, surprisingly.

"We thank you, mistress. What can we do to repay you for saving our friend's life?" Miroku's smooth as silk voice spoke up.

The healer near-smiled again. "Well, you could catch dinner for myself and your companions."

Miroku nodded, bowed and left, taking Shippou and Sango with him. Kirara, apparently not worried in the least, settled down for a nap.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments.

"What's your name?" asked Kagome softly.

The healer looked up. "Hakura."

"Thank you, Hakura-sama. We are very much in your debt."

Hakura raised a slender eyebrow. "No, not at all. Just bring me dinner, because I can't leave your companion here without me to look after him."

Kagome nodded.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Kagome. The man you're treating is Inuyasha."

"Hanyou."

"What?"

"He's a hanyou, not a man."

"Oh. Er, yes." Kagome bit her lip. "The monk is Miroku, and the lady with him is Sango. She's a taijiya."

"A taijiya who travels with three of youkai blood?"

"Yep. The kitsune is Shippou, and that's Kirara over there." Kagome pointed to the corner where the firecat was happily snoozing.

Inuyasha moaned, immediately commanding all of Kagome's attention. Hakura glanced at him. "He'll be fine. They're just nightmares."

"Nightmares?"

Hakura nodded and gave Kagome a bowl of fresh water and a cloth. "Here. Keep him cool."

Kagome nodded, content with her job.

While Kagome watched over Inuyasha, Hakura mixed, ground and sorted herbs. She moved back and forth in the room, muttering to herself.

Miroku, Sango and Shippou came back with several fish, over which Hakura smiled and immediately marinated. She introduced herself as she did so, and spent the entire time she was cooking trying to get Miroku to drop the 'sama' from her name.

"Kagome?" Sango laid a hand on Kagome's shoulder. "Dinner." Kagome went over to the fire, looking behind her at the prone figure of Inuyasha, pale in the moonlight.

Once the fish had been polished off and everyone except Hakura and Kagome were asleep, Kagome felt comfortable enough to ask Hakura about her heritage.

"Um, Hakura?"

"Yes?"

"WellI was wondering"

"About the fact that I'm a youkai?"

"Well, yeah." Kagome blushed lightly. Hakura smiled.

"I'm a hanyou, just like your friend here. I decided to become a healer, and here I am."

Kagome got the distinct impression that this was all she was going to get and let the subject drop.

Hakura picked up a new bowl of liquid and set about untying Inuyasha's bandages. Kagome wasn't expecting any change, but it seemed the other woman was. Hakura frowned when she saw no change, and poured more liquid over his wound. Inuyasha hissed again, and Kagome slid her hand in his. If Hakura noticed, she didn't let on. Instead, the hanyou bandaged Inuyasha up again and told Kagome to go to sleep. Kagome protested, but not very strongly. She was asleep within five minutes.

Hakura sat next to Inuyasha and let her eyes roam. She thought back on his wound and frowned again. He shouldn't be pushing it away.

"Who are you," she whispered, "to be able to resist my healing?"

She brushed his hair away from his forehead gently, silvery green searching and finding nothing. Inuyasha moaned again and turned his head from side to side. "I am sorry," Hakura continued, "that these nightmares are so terrible."

She woofed softly in inu-youkai, and the tenseness in between his eyebrows relaxed somewhat. Hakura resituated herself into a more comfortable position, crossing her legs in the Lotus, and laid a soft hand on his forehead, concentrating fiercely.

This was how the occupants of her home found her the next morning.


	2. Chapter Two

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Title: Carry Me Home

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Rating: PG-13 and R for violence and occasional sexual implications

****

Summary: Inuyasha's been wounded and is trapped in a sleep in which visions of a life he doesn't remember plague him. A life in which he was not a small child running from humans to become a nervous young man in love with a miko, but something else completely.

****

Disclaimer: Copyright for Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and the author does not write for profit

****

Author(ess): bluefuzzyelf

Chapter Two

Sango was the first awake. She sat up and glanced around, her eyes falling on a most enchanting sight.

Inuyasha, still unconscious, was laying still beneath Hakura's fingers. Hakura herself sat at his side, the sunlight falling on her brilliant hair and creating a blinding vision of white and red. Her white outfit was glowing, and Inuyasha, if one looked close enough, was levitating a few inches off the floor.

Sango got up and shook Miroku awake. He mumbled something about fish and rolled over. She shook him harder.

He sat up. "Sango?" he asked, his eyes falling on her, "what do you want?"

She pointed. Miroku blinked. "He's floating."

Sango nodded. Miroku got up and woke Kagome, who promptly freaked out.

"Oh my god, why's he floating in midair! What's going on?" Miroku attempted to stop her when she rushed over to the two youkai, but he didn't really need to. About three feet away, Kagome yelped and sat down abruptly.

"Kagome?" cried two voices in unison.

"I'm okay, I think. It's just, there's this barrier that's not letting me through."

"It won't let a miko through?" asked Sango, surprised.

"Hmm.what about a youkai? Shippou!"

The kitsune in question squeaked. "Um, yes?"

"Don't act so surprised, I knew you were awake. Could you see if you can walk past the barrier?"

"Erm, sure." Shippou took a few tentative steps towards the barrier, then a few more, and a few more, until he was standing right next to Inuyasha.

"Okay, come back now." Shippou turned and leaped into Kagome's arms, who hugged him briefly then said, "What's going on? Why can't we get through?"

Miroku shrugged. "It is my guess that Hakura has erected that barrier to keep out everything human. I do not know her reasoning, nor her mind."

The three humans made breakfast and rolled up their bedclothes in silence. Kagome was doing her History homework when she felt it. Miroku had been meditating.

Kagome turned quickly. "Shards!" she hissed. Sango tensed. Miroku had already stood and was ready with ofuda.

"How many?' Sango asked out of the corner of her mouth.

"Two." Kagome strung her bow and nocked an arrow.

The three made a line in front of the house, each dropping into a battle stance. Kagome was half expecting Kouga, but was not in the least the most surprised when they saw who was carrying the shards.

A tall youkai with tawny hair came jogging through the line of trees and pulled up short at the sight of three humans very obviously ready to do battle with him.

Sango blinked, Kagome nearly dropped her bow, and Miroku raised an eyebrow in consternation.

Bright green gold eyes looked at each human in turn. The youkai seemed a little puzzled and raised a hand to scratch his ear. "Hello," he said at last. "Who are you?"

"We should be the ones asking that question."

"Not really. This is my territory, not yours. Unless you've taken it over in," the youkai glanced at the sky, "five hours."

Miroku shook his head. "No, we have not."

"Oh good." The youkai visibly relaxed. "If you had, I would've had to fight you, and I'm really not in the mood."

This time Kagome really did drop her bow. She picked it back up quickly. The youkai smiled indulgently.

"Could you let me through now?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"What? Why?"

Sango cleared her throat. "Because we do not know you or your intentions."

"Well, no worries, I just came to see Hakura."

"I am afraid we still cannot let you pass." Miroku threaded his ofuda through his fingers. Sango raised her hiraikotsu and Kagome aimed.

The youkai sighed and settled into a battle stance himself, claws raised and fangs bared.

"Stand down."

The quiet voice from behind them threw the humans off and the youkai in front of them brightened. "Hakura! There you are."

Hakura smiled. "Yes, here I am. Hiro is my friend," she addressed the humans, "and is no threat to you. I'm sorry you had to deal with him."

Hiro pouted. "You make me sound like a child!"

Hakura tried not to smile. "You are. Now, everyone come inside."

To Kagome's disappointment, Inuyasha was not awake but still out cold, his forehead wrinkled in a frown. Hiro sauntered dangerously close to the sleeping hanyou and sniffed a bit.

"Huh," he woofed, a bit like a dog. He sat down gracefully and crossed his legs. "Do you have it?" he asked Hakura abruptly, his genial face hardening. Hakura nodded and took a nondescript brown bottle from a shelf over her head. She handed it to her friend. He bowed his head low, bringing her hand to his head.

"Thank you."

"A favor for an old friend needs no thanks."

Hiro tucked the bottle safely into his jacket and sat back. Hakura also sank to the ground.

"I am sorry if I worried you earlier," she said to her guests, "but I was working on your companion. There is something about him that resists my healing. Humans tend to distract me while I'm working."

Kagome nodded and bit her lip. "Will he be okay?"

Hakura placed a piercing gaze upon the young girl. "I do not know." Kagome closed her eyes.

"We have another matter on our hands Kagome." Miroku's voice brought Kagome back to reality.

"Yes. Hiro-san, you carry shards of the Shikon jewel. We require their return."

Hiro raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And who are you to claim the jewel?"

"I am its guardian."

"Fine job you're doing. It's in hundred of pieces." Hakura laid a hand on Hiro's shoulder and her calmed. "I will not hand them over to you, but neither will I hand them over to one who would do evil with them. That will have to do for you."

Sango's eyes glimmered. "Do not underestimate us. We will fight for them if need be." Her hand tightened on the strap of her boomerang. Miroku shook his head minutely at her and she reluctantly brought her hand down. "Fine. But we will find you when the time comes. And the shards will be ours."

Kagome had remained silent and was holding the jar of shards around her neck. She desperately hoped that Naraku wouldn't get to Hiro before they did.

Hiro decided to stay for a while, wanting to know more about the little group that currently resided with Hakura, and found a friend in Sango, of all people. He was genuinely interested in the taijiya trade, and gleaned every bit of information he could from Sango, who chattered on excitedly with more energy than any of them had ever seen. Miroku was distinctly disgruntled.

Kagome often sneaked in to visit Inuyasha and more than once found him thrashing in the throes of some awful dream. Hakura never said anything to her when she found Kagome there, just gave her something to do, perhaps understanding the girl's sense of helplessness. Kagome tried to soothe her hanyou as best she could, barely able to stand the soft whimpers coming from his mouth. She was sent away sometimes so Hakura could work undisturbed and it was those times when she was most on edge. Her friends learned not to bother her when she had that look in her eyes.

Everyday she prayed for Inuyasha's safety.

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A large arena, the ground hot under his bare feet. Distant sounds of cheering and the slow grind of gates opening. He could feel the cool hilt of a sword in his palm, the weight of armor on his chest. His ears twitched and a comforting hand slipped into his. The gates opened fully.

Hakura leaned over Inuyasha and tried to smooth away the deep ruts between his eyebrows. His entire body was tense, as if ready for battle.

__

What is it you dream of? she thought. His only response was a twitch in his sword hand.

__

"They call him The Beast. They say he's invincible, he and that group of his. He commands loyalty, he does. Incredible with a sword."

Inuyasha growled and twitched again. Hakura laid a palm on his head and concentrated.

__

She stared at him with big brown eyes. She nodded at him, responding to what he had just said and pulled her hair up with a string of leather.

"Tash."

"Alitash"

The murmured name caught Hakura's attention. She stared at the hanyou's features for a moment and made a little mental note to ask Hiro to dig up anything he could on this Alitash person. It wasn't like it was a terribly common name.

It turned out that Hiro did not need to dig up anything on Alitash. His eyes went wide as she asked him about it.

"Yes, I've heard of her, and so has everyone other youkai in the Eastern Lands. She's an arena fighter, a panther youkai from the Black Lands."

"An arena fighter?"

"Aa. Some in the Eastern Lands still practice the barbaric tradition of watching slaves fight to the death. It is entertainment. Alitash is the most loved by the people, and the longest lived of any slave in the rings. Some say she is waiting for someone to rescue her."

Hakura stared at the ground, the ramifications of this new information slowly sinking in.

"Thank you, my old friend."

"It is no problem. But why do you ask for her?"

Hakura stood. "Because I believe I have found her rescuer."

__

"Inuyasha."

He stopped, his hand on the strap of his crude armor. Her hand was pale as marble as she laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't get yourself killed. We'd miss you."

He turned to her, his gold eyes soft as he only let them get for two people.

"I won't get killed. I have things to do before I die. So don't worry."

She smiled up at him, her hand on her sword.

"I never do."

Inuyasha couldn't make sense of these moments captured in time, fragments of a memory buried deep and reluctant to rise to the surface of his mind. He saw things that never happened, people he never knew, feelings he'd never felt.

Inuyasha tossed and turned upon his futon, trapped in a dream of mists and forgetfulness.


	3. Chapter Three

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Title: Carry Me Home

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Rating: PG-13 and R for violence and occasional sexual implications

****

Summary: Inuyasha's been wounded and is trapped in a sleep in which visions of a life he doesn't remember plague him. A life in which he was not a small child running from humans to become a nervous young man in love with a miko, but something else completely.

****

Disclaimer: Copyright for Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and the author does not write for profit

****

Author(ess): bluefuzzyelf

Chapter Three

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Pain, pain lancing through his body. He struggled to stand, and thrust his sword through the man in front of him. The wet sound of a sword sliding into flesh haunted him every night, a testament to how many he'd killed, killed to stay alive. His only solace was in her arms, soft and smooth and dark.

Inuyasha was breathing heavily as if he'd just run a marathon. Hakura was putting all her energy into making him calm down. Kagome was sitting by his side, whispering in his ears soothing words.

"Try singing," grunted Hakura, as she tried to hold the hanyou down to apply her newest potion.

Kagome nodded and started to sing a lullaby her mother had sung to her when she was little.

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"Hush bye bye, Don't you cry

Go to sleepy little baby

When you wake you shall have

All the pretty little horses"

Hakura nodded. "It's working. Keep going."

__

"Blacks, and bays, dapples, and grays

All the pretty little horses

Blacks, and bays, dapples, and grays

Coach and six a little horses

Hush bye bye. Don't you cry

Go to sleepy little baby

When you wake you'll have sweet cake

And all the pretty little horses"

Inuyasha frowned, the strain of a voice reaching him through the darkness of his mind. He focused in on it, holding it like a lifeline as it took physical form in his head, a glowing thread of gold light.

__

"A brown, and gray, black, and bay

And a coach and six, little horses

A black, and bay, a brown, and a gray

And a coach and six, little horses.

Hush you bye, don't you cry

Oh, you pretty little baby

Go to sleepy little baby

Oh you pretty little baby"

The voice died away, and so did the thread. He fell back into memories.

Hakura sighed. "He's calm now. He's resisting anything I give him; his body just won't take it." The healer peered at Inuyasha's wound under the bandages and grimaced. "It's still open and oozing. Something is really wrong."

Kagome rested her head against his good shoulder as she pushed back tears. A hand settled on her head, stroking her hair.

"He'll be fine. We'll find the right potion. He'll be fine, Kagome. I promise."

It was cold comfort, but she leaned into Hakura all the same.

Sango and Miroku, restless from staying in one place so long, had taken to sparring every day. It was after these mock fights that they sat next to each other, cooling down, and talked. There was none of the usual flirting from Miroku or shying away from Sango. They grew closer each day that Inuyasha didn't awake and Kagome cried.

The loss of their friend had hit them all hard. Sango felt his absence strongly, missing the rough, arrogant voice and the soft touch of his hand on her shoulder when she thought of her brother. He didn't really know how to deal with people, but there were times when he knew exactly what to do or say.

Miroku spent his time thinking about Sango and Kagome. He liked the hanyou and he understood, perhaps better than the rest, the inner workings of Inuyasha's mind. Miroku looked on Inuyasha as a leader and friend, trusted him in battle and enjoyed his company when the girls were not around. Miroku alone knew how much the presence of Kikyo was tearing Inuyasha up and how much it hurt the younger man when he fought with Kagome.

Most of the time, Miroku and Sango spoke about Inuyasha in ways he would not have liked, analyzing his actions, his reasons for doing things. They began to really think about him, about the conflicting things he often did. It was as if he were two different people sometimes.

Shippou sometimes joined them, not saying anything but just listening. It was during the weeks Inuyasha was unconscious that Shippou grew from a child into a young man. Without Kagome to pay attention to him, and Inuyasha to pick on, he had to resort to other things. The kit felt guilt for not being able to help Inuyasha in the fight and blamed himself for not saving him. Shippou spent his time in the forest surrounding Hakura's home, working on his tricks and on his foxfire. He listened to the conversations Miroku and Sango had about the hanyou he had come to think of as an older brother and resolved to not pick on him any more.

Sango, Miroku and Shippou bonded more than ever, creating a closeness that they had previously been afraid to manifest and waited for the return of their friend, companion and leader.

__

"Beron, take the left! Kado, take out the archer! Raidon, stay with me!"

The sun beat down on them as they took stances, chained together. Inuyasha had already asserted himself as leader, and his men moved as he told them. He was attached at the arm to Raidon, a strong youkai limping because of the arrow in his thigh. Kado had lost his partner, a man named Juro who had been weak and helpless. He had already cut Juro's hand off to free himself and threw a spear at the archer. It caught him in the throat. Beron was chained to a crane youkai, a wiry young man who was more ferocious that anyone had expected him to be. Taji killed without remorse.

So did anyone who wanted to survive the rings.

"Here, my dear, take this. It'll help." Inuyasha drank the bitter liquid in the healer's hand. His vision began to go fuzzy and his eyes lolled.

"Woman, what did you do to me!"

"Shh, there, everything will be okay. You won't remember a thing."

A new girl. Dark skin, large eyes and pouty lips. She was strong and sinewy, her stance just like that of the animal her race took the shape of. She was a panther youkai, graceful and confident. Inuyasha had no doubt she had killed a man before. He quelled the lewd jokes and derogatory remarks with a look and motioned her over to his table where Raidon, Beron, Taji and Kado already sat. she sauntered over, a small predatory smile gracing her lips.

"What is a woman like you doing in a hellhole like this?"

She grinned. "Surviving."

"Aren't we all," said Raidon.

"It's been a long time since I've seen a woman," commented Beron, his eyes flicking over the newcomer's body.

"It's been a long time since I've seen a man," she replied, copying his stare and sending it right back to him. Beron guffawed.

Inuyasha watched her. "Here's what I think." Everyone quieted. "You turned down the wrong man, or killed the wrong lord. They sent you to die, but you escaped. The traders captured you, and sent you here, like the rest of us." He smirked. "Well? Close?"

The girl smirked back. "Nearly. I killed the wrong girl."

Another new girl. Inuyasha slipped his arm around Alitash's shoulders as the girl walked into the room, her spine straight and chin held high. Alitash shot him a look and shrugged his arm off, the small smile she gave him softening the harsh gesture. The new girl was only a quarter youkai, but she walked into the cells like she owned them.

Inuyasha admired her spunk. "Come here," he said. She turned to look at him with green eyes. She walked over, wary.

"If you want a good time, I suggest you don't try for one with me."

Inuyasha laughed. "For sure, no."

The girl seemed offended. "Oh? Prefer the pleasures of your cellmates?" she looked pointedly at Raidon, who wasn't paying any attention at all.

Inuyasha laughed again. "It isn't an uncommon practice, but I prefer my bedmates softer."

The girl rolled her eyes.

"What are you here for?"

She glanced sidelong at him. "Stealing."

"Ah. A thief. How charming," said Alitash. She grinned at the pale girl. "Perhaps that will come in handy."

"Perhaps."

Inuyasha tilted his head. "What is your name?"

"Maiya."

"Pretty," said Alitash. Maiya bowed.

"Thank you."

"Come sit over here. I have been dying without female company. Men are brutes." She said this with a slight smile on her face and Inuyasha kissed her neck.

"This brute is going to go play dice. You non-brutes don't get into any fights, I don't want to lose any of my men."

It was with a great gasping breath that Inuyasha woke, sitting straight up with his eyes wide open. Kagome stared at him, her hand holding his tightly.

"Inuyasha?"

He turned to her, his big eyes swimming with a veritable mine field of emotions.

Hakura came bursting into the room, her hair flying out behind her. Inuyasha blinked. Kagome said his name again, worried about his lack of response. He blinked a few more times, then:

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!"

Kagome breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed against his shoulder. He tensed for a moment, then his hand found her shoulder as if my reflex. Kagome stiffened, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Where the hell am I? What happened? Who the hell are you? And why the hell do you all look so weird?" This last question was aimed at the rest of his traveling group; they had rushed in after his yell.

"Inuyasha, you're in a healer's home. After the fight with the moth youkai, you were injured and passed out. You've been unconscious for the past three weeks."

Inuyasha gaped. Three weeks? He had never exceeded a couple of days when his body went into a healing trance, and it never did that unless it was fatal.

"Three weeks?" His voice was faint. They all nodded.

"I am Hakura." Inuyasha looked to who he supposed was the healer. "It took so long to revive you because your body resisted any kind of healing I tried to use. Could you tell me why?"

Inuyasha shook his head. "I don't know." But then, maybe he did. Some fragment, like of a dream, floated up in his memory. Something about a potion in his foodin everyone's foodbut who was everyone? The vision was lost, like one of those bubble things Kagome liked to make on spring days.

"We have been very worried about you, Inuyasha. Do you feel well?"

"Keh. I'm fine. Let me up."

"Nothing is holding you down, Inuyasha," said Kagome, worriedly.

"Oh." Inuyasha stood. He stepped outside and was greeted with a ball of fluff hitting him in the chest.

"Inuyasha!" He figured out that the fluff was Shippou, though why he was clinging to him like that was a mystery.

"Oi, runt, what's wrong?"

"I didn't think you were gonna make it!"

"Keh, I always make it, runt." Inuyasha gave the kit a quick squeeze. "Now let's go. Time to start moving again We were headed towards the Eastern Lands, right?."


	4. Chapter Four

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Title: Carry Me Home

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Rating: PG-13 and R for violence and occasional sexual implications

****

Summary: Inuyasha's been wounded and is trapped in a sleep in which visions of a life he doesn't remember plague him. A life in which he was not a small child running from humans to become a nervous young man in love with a miko, but something else completely.

****

Disclaimer: Copyright for Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and the author does not write for profit

****

Author(ess): bluefuzzyelf

Chapter Four

"Inuyasha? May I speak to you?"

Inuyasha looked up from his food. "Sure," he grunted. "What about?"

"It is a private matter."

Inuyasha shrugged and stood up, following Hakura outside and away from prying ears.

"What do you want?"

"Do you know anyone by the name of Alitash?"

A flood of memories assaulted Inuyasha, things he had seen in his healing induced trance.

"Alitash?" His voice was no louder than a whisper and the name he whispered conjured up visions of a beautiful woman with dark skin and ebony hair, brown eyes and full lips. Smiling, laughing, killing, lying, kissingwhoa, wait, kissing?

"I don'tI know the name, and I know her face. But I don't know how, because I've never seen her in my life." _Nor have I kissed her_, he thought.

Hakura nodded. "I thought so. I think I have found the reason my healing did not work on you. You took a potion, sometime earlier in your life that made you forget everything before it. I found traces of it oozing out of your wound. That is why you are having memories you can't explain. That is what's happening?" Inuyasha nodded. "The potion was mixed badly, with an herb in it that repels major healing. It is commonly used as a poison.

"I heard you mutter the name Alitash and I wanted to know who she was. Do you want to know? It may trigger more memories."

Inuyasha nodded, not able to speak.

"She was an arena fighter. A panther youkai, beloved of the people." Flashes of hot sand, blood spattered mocha skin, "She fought in the rings of the Eastern Lands. Even now, they partake in that barbaric practice." Hakura eyed Inuyasha. He was standing stock still, not even his ears twitching.

A smile that lit up the night, skillful hands caressing his shoulders, the soft clink of her braids as the beads knocked together.

"She is alive."

That sentence seemed to waken Inuyasha. He turned to her, his eyes blazing. "Alive? After so long? It isn't possible."

"They say she's waiting for her rescuer." Inuyasha fell to his knees. "They called him The Beast and they chanted for the Half-Breed."

Inuyasha stood, turned to go back inside, then whipped back around to face Hakura. "Thank you." It was but a whisper. Hakura bowed her head. "It was the least I could do for you, my lord." He started, then nodded at her.

Inuyasha strode back inside. "We leave at dawn for the Eastern Lands."

They traveled fast and hard, Inuyasha driven by an unseen force. At night, when they rested, Kagome could hear Inuyasha's whimpers and saw his thrashing. They were nights not well spent.

Inuyasha remembered more and more of his life each night, remembered his men, his woman, the girl he looked on as a sister. It tortured him, for every night he would get closer to knowing how he escaped and why he chose to forget. He was wracked with guilt at not going back for her, admiration filling him when he thought how long she'd survived in the rings.

He wondered if she'd remember him.

Each day was an attempt to both reach night and outrun it. The dreams were a blessing and a curse that he kept to himself, not listening when the others complained about fatigue or hunger.

Shippou rode with him, silent on his shoulder. The little kit hardly ever left him now. Inuyasha was grateful.

At dawn on the tenth day of travel, they reached a city. They stood on a cliff overlooking it. The roofs glittered in the rising sun, nearly blinding the travelers. Inuyasha gazed upon it with a mixture of loathing and excitement. Kagome had learned not to ask him why they went so fast, or what he was thinking about. She saw his expression, and for the thousandth time wondered what was so important.

As they drew closer to the city, Kagome and the others stared at the architecture. It was like nothing else in the Sengoku Jidai. Kagome could see things that looked African, or influences from China and even some Mediterranean. Sango and Miroku gaped. Shippou sat calmly on Inuyasha's shoulder and stared only occasionally. If Inuyasha could walk to this place without batting an eye, so could he.

They camped at nightfall on the outskirts of the city. A fire was made and dinner was served. When bedrolls had been laid out and everyone was getting ready to sleep, Inuyasha announced that he would be back soon.

"What? Where are you going?" Kagome was perplexed. Where could he possibly want to go?

"I'll be back," was all he said. He set Shippou down by Kagome with orders to sniff out any predators and warn the rest. Then he set off, his form slowly disappearing into the shadows.

Inuyasha grabbed a cloak from an unsuspecting vendor closing shop. It was well made and warm, but most of all, it hid his countenance. As he swung it over his body, another memory hit him, so strong as to almost knock him off his feet.

__

"Tash, you must wait here. I've found a way out, but I will not risk you or Maiya or my men until I know it's safe."

"Inuyasha, don't go!" Her voice was hoarse.

"I must," he said, grabbing Alitash and holding her in his arms. "Udo found me a way."

"Udo! Can you trust him?"

"Yes, Tash, we can. He is perhaps the only honest youkai outside of these cells." Her pushed her away a bit and stared into her eyes. "I'll come back for you, Tash. Don't you ever believe I won't come back. I promise you."

Alitash held onto his tightly before gently placing her mouth on his.

"I love you."

Inuyasha nuzzled her hair. "I love you to. Now go!"

She left, and he pulled on a cloak that shielded his face. He snuck past the guard at his gate and left through a hidden tunnel by the door to the arena. He hurried quietly and finally reached the opening. He crouched low and hid among the plants growing in abandon along the wall of the arena.

He saw Udo on a horse, waiting for him, a spare horse in his hand. The youkai motioned with his hand. Inuyasha ran.

The sound of an arrow cutting through air made his heart tighten. The arrow lodged itself in his shoulder and he held back his scream. Udo helped him onto his horse and they rode away, the devil at their heels.

They finally stopped as the sun was just about to rise. Inuyasha was shivering form the cold and his wound. Udo led him inside a small house. An old haggard woman waited there, a kind expression on her face.

"Oh, dear, you're wounded!" She pushed Inuyasha down onto a futon and prepared some hot water.

"Udo, my dear, hold him down. This is going to hurt, I'm afraid." The woman reached over as Udo held his arms down and yanked the arrow free of his shoulder. Inuyasha bit his cheek so hard he bled, but he barely made a sound.

"Strong one you have here, Udo," said the woman as she bathed Inuyasha's wound. "Where did you rescue him from?"

"The arena."

The woman gasped. "Oh, the poor thing!"

"I'm fine," grunted Inuyasha.

She clucked over him and smoothed back his hair before tying his shoulder up tightly in a white linen bandage.

Udo rose to leave. "I do not know when I will next see you, Grandmother, but I hope it will be soon."

The old healer raised a wrinkled palm to the young youkai's face. "I do too, my young one, I do too."

Udo left. Inuyasha was swimming in and out of consciousness. He heard her muttering something about how no one should have to live with those memories. She shuffled back over to him.

"Here, my dear, take this. It'll help." Inuyasha drank the bitter liquid in the healer's hand. His vision began to go fuzzy and his eyes lolled.

"Woman, what did you do to me!"

"Shh, there, everything will be okay. You won't remember a thing."

Inuyasha came back to reality with a jolt. It had been her fault, the old woman's! She had mixed his potion wrong, and not only wiped his memories but made it impossible for another to heal him! Inuyasha snarled into the night. How **dare** she invade him in that way! His memories were his own, and not to be toyed with!

Inuyasha drew the cloak close around him and stalked over to where he knew a place that sold expensive silk clothing set up shop. He broke in silently, grabbing several items of clothing and putting them in a bag he found in the store. He also grabbed a few pots of scent and some plate armor for himself form the armory. Then he left, feeling no remorse for the traders' loss of money. After all, it was they who captured him in the first place.

When Kagome woke up, Inuyasha was in a tree, his head bowed and his eyes closed. She glared at him. She was waited up for him to come back before sleep had overcome her.

"When did you get back?"

Inuyasha didn't move. "You were all asleep."

"I thought you had said soon."

He opened his eyes. "I miscalculated, okay?" He was on edge and Kagome, as much as she didn't like it, sat back.

"What were you doing?"

"Running an errand. Wake up the others, I'll start a fire."

They had breakfast, Inuyasha evading all questions. When everyone had finished and their things packed up, Inuyasha fetched the bag of clothing. He brought it out and dumped the contents on the ground.

"There. Find something that fits." Inuyasha, having already selected his outfit, slumped against a tree.

"Where did this all come from, Inuyasha?" asked Sango, admiring a silk kimono of a dark blue.

"The city."

Miroku chuckled and chose clothing in shades of purple.

"You stole it, you mean," replied Sango, undisturbed and picking out a kimono of several layers in sunset colors.

Kagome sputtered. "You stole this?"

"Don't matter. Wasn't like they didn't deserve it."

"How do you know?" Kagome fumed. He'd stolen it!

"I just do, okay! Now pick something out so we can go!"

Shippou had already dressed himself in light blue. "C'mon Kagome, trust him." She turned disbelieving eyes on him, as did everyone else in the group. He shrugged. "He's never lead us wrong before."

Kagome let out a frustrated breath and was about to reach for a set of gold robes when a clawed hand whisked them away. "Not these ones. They weren't supposed to be there. Another set."

Kagome glared at him as he folded the silk and stuffed it in his haori. She found a multi-layer kimono like Sango's in greens and they set off to change. Miroku donned his new clothing and admired the feel of silk on his skin.

"These are truly beautiful clothes, Inuyasha. Thank you."

Inuyasha grunted. "You'll have to put your hair down," he said from behind a tree where he was getting dressed.

"Down? Why?"

"Cause they'll notice your ears. This is a youkai city we're going into. You gotta act like a youkai. I'll take care of your scent."

Miroku nodded, even though Inuyasha couldn't see him, and let his hair down. It hung by his neck in soft waves and he combed a hand through it.

Inuyasha came out from behind the tree dressed in black, looking far too like his older brother than was comfortable for Miroku. He had pinned his ears down and combed his hair so that no one would notice his lack of ears. He had on a plate of armor across his chest and a red sash across his waist that held Tetsusaiga. His feet were for once not bare but booted. He walked over to Miroku and surveyed him.

"Not bad. We'll have to do something about the rosary though. He thought for a moment. "Well, just take the ring off. No self-respecting youkai is a servant of Buddha." Miroku complied. They waited in silence for a few minutes more before the girls came back. They were visions of beauty, clad in silk and more gliding than walking.

"Sango, Kagome, you look beautiful."

The girls blushed. Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "It's not for beauty, houshi, it's for function. C'mere," he told Kagome. She stepped forward timidly. Inuyasha ran his claws through her hair, pulling it down and forward. "Oi. Have any of that 'gel' stuff left?"

She nodded and went to get it. Inuyasha took it form her and worked some of the foul smelling sticky stuff into her hair, so that it looked fashionable yet still covered her ears. He repeated the process with Sango.

Inuyasha stepped back to assess his work. "It'll do." He moved back towards the bag. "Now, we're going into a youkai city, so you have to act, talk, and walk like the arrogant bastards that live here."

Kagome started. "Youkai city?"

Sango nodded. "Didn't you notice? There were no humans there."

"Almost no humans," Inuyasha muttered. "Now, I have some oil that will cover up your natural scent. I want you to put it on. Wrists, the pulse point at your neck and the insides of your elbows. Be generous."

Inuyasha's attitude was freaking Kagome out. He was, if not very calm, in control of the situation. He had pre-planned this, had gone to the trouble of working every little thing out and was commanding them like a seasoned general. He sounded like he knew what he was talking about, like he'd been here before and knew exactly what was going on.

It was not the usual brash, arrogant Inuyasha who rushed headlong into things, sword ablaze.

Kagome dabbed on the oil and rubbed it in. Sango and Miroku were doing the same thing. Shippou was being oddly quiet and he sat and waited for whatever was to come.

Inuyasha retrieved the oil pots from the humans when they were done and stuck them into his haori. Kagome caught a glimpse of gold silk.

"One more thing. Sango, you can't carry your weapons. Those hidden blades of yours are fine, but hiraikotsu and your wakizashi stay behind. Bouzo, your staff stays. Kagome, your bow and your arrows stay. Miroku, you know how to use a sword?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then take Sango's." Inuyasha fixed them all with a piercing gaze. "Do not speak to anyone. If someone tries to speak to you, give them a disdainful look, like they aren't worth your time. Walk like you know where you're going and for god's sake don't fucking make any stupid comments. You have to act like you're nobility. Whatever happens, don't scream."

Kagome shivered. Scream? She held onto Sango for comfort and the older girl squeezed her hand. "Don't worry," she whispered. "He may be acting differently, but he's still Inuyasha."

"Damn right."

Sango chuckled. "See?"

Inuyasha stashed their old clothes, Kagome's backpack and the spare weapons in a tree. Then they began a winding walk through the trees to a wide road. Inuyasha stepped onto it and started to walk with the strut of his brother. The others copied his moves, and Shippou, who sat on his shoulder, looked around like a highly spoiled princeling.

Inuyasha led them through the city gates and along a series of small roads, clearly knowing where he was going. Despite the growing apprehension in her gut, Kagome stayed in her role and glared down at one filthy tradesman who was trying to sell her sake. The man backed down immediately.

Inuyasha slowed a bit and laced his arm through hers, motioning for Sango and Miroku to do the same. Sango sent Miroku a look that promised death if he even _thought_ of doing anything untoward. She needn't have, however. That was the last thing on Miroku's mind.

As they drew closer and closer to the middle of the city, Inuyasha quickened his pace. There was loud cheering and calling, youkai making bets alongside the road. There was a sharp turn in the road and there, in the center of the city, was the arena. Kagome likened it to the Coliseum, only smaller, but no less impressive. Inuyasha walked purposefully toward it, and Kagome's bad feeling intensified. If this place was like the Coliseum, then what went on inside wasKagome's eyes widened. _Please tell me it's not that,_ she thought.

She felt a quick squeeze on her arm form Inuyasha and took a deep breath.

As they neared the gates to the arena, Inuyasha straightened even more. Kagome had never realized just how tall Inuyasha was.

They breezed by the bull youkai guards at the entrance and made their way to an empty booth, a shade of colored silks over their heads. Kagome breathed a sigh of relief. They had made it. She looked around curiously. It was like the Coliseum, only two stories and much less steep. They sat in one of many booths close to the ground. The arena itself was a large swath of beaten earth. At two sides were doors. Kagome shuddered to think of what came through those doors.

"Relax," came Inuyasha's soft voice. It belied his tense shoulders and deadpan face that looked out onto the arena. Miroku and Sango sat next to them, barely containing their wonderment and disgust. Shippou sat in Sango's lap, staring at one of the doors.

People filled the stands, everyone from the lowest youkai to the Lord of the Eastern Lands was there. Inuyasha struggled not to jump at the man who had caused his torture so many years back.

Being at the arena was like being back in hell, only this time, he wasn't the one fighting. Inuyasha clenched his fists so tight he broke the skin. Luckily, he was wearing black, and the combined stink of twenty thousand people hid the scent of blood. The wounds healed quickly.

Inuyasha rolled his shoulder, and was glad to know that it was completely healed. It hadn't so much as twinged while they traveled, and he guessed that being out of the trance let him heal on his own.

A youkai announced a youkai called Terio, to the audience's pleasure. A young bird youkai stepped out of the door on the right. He wore the customary uniform, no more that a piece of cloth around his waist and crude leather armor on his chest. He was armed with a long katana.

The other was a human. He had no name. The fight was over in minutes. Kagome had tried to hide her face in his shoulder, but her made her watch.

"If you don't want to watch, just let your eyes glaze over. But you have to pretend to enjoy it, or we'll be found out."

She had been the only one to look away.

They sat through one more fight before they called their champion. Kagome felt Inuyasha tense as they called "Alitash!"

Inuyasha went rigid as they called her name. He gritted his teeth and stared at the left door as it opened and _she_ stepped out.

She stood by the door, skin glistening from oil. Her hair was up in that tail he had told her to always wear in battle. She had gotten injured once because her hair was in her face and her vision obscured. She raised her sword, a thick broadsword that she had brought from her homeland. They had allowed her to bring it after she killed five men to keep them from taking it.

The crowd cheered her name. Inuyasha only breathed it, but his companions caught it.

"Alitash."


	5. Chapter Five

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Title: Carry Me Home

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Rating: PG-13 and R for violence and occasional sexual implications

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Summary: Inuyasha's been wounded and is trapped in a sleep in which visions of a life he doesn't remember plague him. A life in which he was not a small child running from humans to become a nervous young man in love with a miko, but something else completely.

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Disclaimer: Copyright for Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and the author does not write for profit

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Author(ess): bluefuzzyelf

A/N: Uh, yeah. Hi. This is my third complete rewrite of this story, fresh with a new plot. My muse and this plotbunny have been hounding me to write this, and I've written three chapters now, all today. So go check out the other chapters before you read this, otherwise you will be _completely_ lost.

Chapter Five

Inuyasha forgot about anything and everyone as soon as Alitash stepped through that door. His first instinct was to jump into the arena and take her away, get her out of the hell she was in.

She was different. Her features were sharper, her body harder. She fought mechanically and with none of the zest of years before. She had no scars that Inuyasha could see, and he was glad. A wound that left a scar on a full-blood was a wound not many recovered from. If anyone could, his Alitash could.

She fought alone. That was the next thing that caught his attention. There was no group. He should have expected it, because no one ever lasted as long as Alitash had managed to. They were probably all years dead. The thought struck him like a sword, and almost hurt as much.

He watched her like a thirsty man watches a waterfall. She was as beautiful as she had ever been, swift and deadly. He wanted desperately to call out her name. The only thing stopping him was that the distraction would get her killed. He had no fear of the guards. He could fight his way past them all, his friends in tow.

Inuyasha looked at Kagome, and his heart jumped. Her face was strained, and her eyes were glittery. He slipped an arm around the girl and held her close.

"It's almost over."

"What if she dies?"

"She won't."

"How do you know?"

"Because Tash never does anything as stupid as dying."

Kagome sniffed. "Who is she, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha inhaled. A mixture of perfume and blood and excrement filled his nostrils. "It's a long story."

"Can you tell me now?"

"No. But later. Between the fight and dusk, I'll tell you."

Kagome nodded. "Alright."

Alitash thrust her sword again and again into her opponent. The crowd cheered. She left the arena, proud head held high, and just before she left, she scanned the crowd as if out of habit. Her eyes widened for a moment, and then she was gone.

Inuyasha swept out of his chair and out of the arena as soon as Alitash had gone, followed by Kagome, Sango, Miroku and Shippou. They followed him as he led them to an old house on the outskirts of the city. He pushed aside the door flap and stepped inside, greeted with the sight of a rather older Udo tending to a little boy, no older that six.

"Udo."

The man stopped his work and spoke. "I know that voice well. I had thought it's owner to be dead."

"Not likely."

Udo looked up. "You are alive my old friend!" He stood and embraced Inuyasha like a brother.

"I am. Is your Grandmother still kicking?"

"No, sadly, she passed away several years back."

"Good. Meddling old bitch."

Udo snarled. "You insult my Grandmother like that, you ungrateful cur!"

Inuyasha backhanded Udo and he fell to the floor. Miroku stepped up to hold Inuyasha back as Kagome went to help Udo up, but Inuyasha stopped them both.

"She gave me some sort of potion to make me forget what had happened here, Udo. There was a poison in it that prevented my healing. I was in a healing trance for three weeks, Udo!"

"She did what?"

"I made a promise! And your Grandmother made sure I would never remember that promise, by erasing my memories!"

"I did not know. She said only that she'd sent you on your way."

"Yeah, well, I don't care if you knew or not. You're still going to help me."

"Do what?"

Inuyasha grinned, baring his fangs. "Still in the habit of rescuing slaves?"

They left Udo's house silently, everyone's mind whirling. Inuyasha had planned to meet Udo at dusk. In between now and then, they were going to go back to their campsite, where Inuyasha had promised to explain everything.

"What were you talking about, back there, at Udo's house?" Kagome was, predictably, the first to ask a question. Inuyasha sighed.

"When I was in my healing sleep," he began, "I began having visions, fragments of scenes, bits of a life I didn't remember having. Hakura worked it out that I had taken a potion that repressed my memories. She said it had come out of my bloodstream because of my wound, and slowly my life came back to me. Hakura also said that there was an herb in that potion that was commonly used as a poison, and it was that which made it impossible for Hakura to heal me. All she could do was keep cleaning my wound, until the potion and moth poison was gone and I could wake up and heal naturally."

"So, this old woman poisoned you?"

Inuyasha scratched his head. "No, not on purpose. She was a kind woman, I remember. I think she only wanted to save me some suffering, but she had no right to meddle in my life like that!"

"How does this connect with the woman in the ring and Udo? Why did the old woman give you the potion in the first place?"

Inuyasha fidgeted. "Well, after my mother died, I wandered all over the place, and ended up walking right into that city. They snapped me up immediately, a couple of silk traders, and sold me to the highest bidder." Kagome gasped. "They put me in the arena, after a couple years of training. They wanted to make sure I'd last a while." Sango hand her hand to her mouth and Shippou had curled up in Inuyasha's lap. He was a comforting weight. "I was an arena fighter. I had my own group of men and women, and we would fight together. We put on a great show. Alitash was one of my girls." There was a fondness in Inuyasha's voice that Kagome, nor the others, were used to hearing, and it tugged at Kagome's heartstrings. "Udo came to me and told me he could get me out. He likes to save as many people as he can, Udo does. The only decent youkai I'd ever met. I agreed, and he showed me a way out. It was dangerous, but I decided to go. I promised Tash I'd come back for her and the others." Inuyasha curled his hands into fists. "I promised.

"I got out and as I ran to Udo, I was shot in the shoulder. We rode to his Grandmother's house, and she helped me. She pulled the arrow out and bandaged my wound, and then ,when Udo left, she gave a potion that she said would help. I drank it. The next thing I remember, I was waking up outside Kikyou's village." As always, whenever her name was mentioned, Kagome felt a wave of sorrow and jealousy.

"So, you had a completely different life that you thought you did? Incredible." Miroku had one hand up to his chin. "How is it you knew Alitash was still alive?"

"Hakura. I don't know how she knew, but I couldn't take the chance to doubt her. Every day, Tash could die. Tonight we're going to get her, with Udo's help."

"Tonight?" squeaked Kagome. Inuyasha nodded. Kagome felt another wave of jealousy. She had the feeling Inuyasha wasn't telling the whole truth about himself and this Alitash woman. How many ex-girlfriends could he have?

"I have to fulfill my promise."

"We're with you, Inuyasha," said Sango. "Do we need to keep our kimonos on?"

Inuyasha shook his head. "No. Sango, get into your uniform. It's easier for you to move in that, and it will camouflage you. Kagome, do you have anything other than that school uniform thing?"

Kagome nodded. "I brought some shorts this time."

"Wear those, whatever they are. Miroku, you're fine. I'm going to be staying in this. As we go in, Kagome, you and Miroku will have cloaks, like me. Sango, you keep to the shadows. Udo will be showing us a way to the arena without being spotted. After that, it's just us. I know how to get in and out, but if we encounter anybody, we need to get rid of them quickly."

Kagome was breathing heavily. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Inuyasha looked into her eyes.

"She needs us, Kagome. Don't worry. I'll protect you." His words sent warmth coursing through her belly. She smiled and went to change.

She came back attired in denim shorts and a black t-shirt. She strapped on her bow and her quiver as Sango attached her wakizashi to her hip and her hiraikotsu to her back. Miroku took up his staff, his ring back in place.

Dusk came. Inuyasha swung his cloak over himself and as them entered the city, they met Udo, who handed cloaks to Kagome and Miroku. Shippou crouched inside the hood of Kagome's cloak.

"Do you think this'll work, Kagome?"

"I don't know, Shippou, I don't know."

Udo led them through the city, along old and unused roads, through alleyways and the slums. At last they ended their nerve-wracking journey by the walls of the arena.

Inuyasha embraced Udo one last time, murmuring something in the youkai's ear. He left soon after, disappearing into the night.

Kagome tried to still her pounding heart as Inuyasha crouched low and ran his hands along the stone wall.

"Inuyasha?"

"Shh! Aha!" His fingers caught on a stone and he pulled out a large slab to reveal a man sized hole. He climbed down into it, pulling Kagome in with him.

"Keep watch," he whispered to Sango and Miroku. Shippou jumped from Kagome's cloak to Miroku's. They nodded. Inuyasha turned and walked down a long tunnel, Kagome at his heels.

"Are you sure this is right?"

"I just got my memories back and they're clear, so stop fussing. We're nearly there."

They came upon a large gate about three feet from the ground which Inuyasha pushed open and climbed through. He turned to help Kagome up as well. When she was gotten up safely, Inuyasha turned and surveyed the room. It was dusty and smelled damp. No one had been in the room in a long time. Kagome slipped her hand into his. He smiled in the dark and pulled her along, a sense of excitement filling him. They crept along old cells and around occupied ones, Inuyasha's nose busy searching for _her_ scent. He caught it and was glad to know she was in that same cell as before.

"C'mon," he whispered, tugging anxiously at Kagome's hand. Inuyasha led her around the cell and to the back, which looked like a solid wall.

"Inuyasha?"

"Watch." The hanyou pushed slightly and one section of the wall gave way to a door. He stepped over the threshold, Kagome behind him.

In the dark he suddenly found a knife to his throat. "In all my time here, there was only one man who knew that entrance, and he's dead. So will you be if you don't tell me why you're here."

Inuyasha chuckled. "Nice to see you too."

A gasp, and then the thunk of a knife upon earth. A candle was lit and for the first time in over fifty years, Inuyasha gazed upon the face of Alitash.

"You," she whispered. "I thought you had gone away. How many time's I've dreamed this and still you keep coming! Why can't you leave me alone?"

"Tash"

"No!"

Inuyasha stepped forward and swept the panther youkai into his arms. Kagome looked on, feeling as if she shouldn't be there.

"I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. It's been so long, but I'm here now." Alitash started to sob. "Shh, don't cry, it's okay."

"You're really here."

"I am. We're going to get you out of here."

Alitash tightened her hold on Inuyasha, burying her face in his neck. Inuyasha looked at Kagome, his gold eyes pleading for privacy. She nodded, suddenly feeling very cold, and backed out of the room, not daring to let her tears fall. How many women would he love before he loved her?

Alitash shuddered in his arms. "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."

Inuyasha rocked her gently, stroking her braided hair. Suddenly she hauled back and slapped him. "Where were you? I've been waiting fifty years, Inuyasha! Fifty years!"

Inuyasha rested his head on her forehead. "Udo's Grandmother, a healer, she gave me a potion to erase my memories. I didn't even remember being in the arena or anything about it until I was wounded and the potion came out with my blood. As soon as I heard you were alive, I came to get you."

Alitash stared at him. "Like what they did to Miaka." He nodded. "Oh, Inuyasha." She moved her hands to the sides of his face and kissed him with all the love she had held for him for fifty years. He held her to him like he never wanted to let go.

She pulled back and looked at him. She took in his long hair, the fancy clothes, his angled features. He didn't seem to have aged. In a full-blood of his age, that would've been common, but for a hanyou, it was strange.

"I was also pinned to a tree for fifty years."

"What?"

Inuyasha looked down. "I went looking for the Shikon jewel and when I found the village it was in, I fell in love with the miko who guarded it. It was not meant to be, because a demon by the name of Naraku turned our feelings for each other into hate. She shot me and pinned me to a tree for fifty years, until Kagome came along and freed me. I am sorry, Alitash. If I had only had my memories, I would've come to get you long before this."

"That explains why you don't look so different."

"Neither do you." His eyes were glinting at her in a way she liked very much, but a soft knock at the door startled both of them.

"Inuyasha? We should go."

Inuyasha nodded at Kagome. "Here," he said, handing Alitash a set of gold robes. "Put those on. We're walking out of here, the way we should've. You've more than won your freedom, Tash."

She grinned at him. "I think I've more than won more than _that_." Inuyasha chuckled. Alitash put on her robes.

"Wait," said Inuyasha, "Before we go, I have to know. What became of the others?"

Alitash looked down. "Beron died not long after you left." Inuyasha bent his head, ears shut tightly. Kagome laid a hand on his shoulder and he covered it with his own. "Kado, he lasted three years before he was struck down by a bear youkai. I killed him later. Taji disappeared. One morning, he just wasn't there. We don't know what happened to him." Inuyasha took an unsteady breath. "Raidon?"

"Disappeared as well. I heard a rumor that he was dead."

"Maiya. _Please_ don't tell me Maiya's dead." He was pleading with her, unable to handle the grief of losing his men and his adopted baby sister.

"She's not. We don't think so, at least."

"Where is she?"

Alitash looked down. "The cages," she whispered. Inuyasha couldn't breathe.

"The cages?" It was more a need to be told that she was not in the cages than an actual question.

Alitash nodded. "She stole a coin from a noble as he was inspecting her." From the way Tash said 'inspecting', Inuyasha knew that the bastard wasn't looking for fighting skills. If he'd been there, he wouldn't have even gotten close to Maiya. "They threw her in the cages and haven't let her out."

"When was this?"

"Twenty five years ago." Inuyasha choked on his own breath and he fought to keep the tears form falling. Alitash leaned into one shoulder, comforting him while Kagome held him around the middle, her face in his hair. One of his hands was over his ears, but try as he might, he could not prevent the escape of that single tear.

He sniffed and stood straight. "I'm getting her."

"What? Inuyasha, no one's ever gotten out of there"

"no one ever got out of here either. I'll take you back as far as the tunnel, then Kagome will take you the rest of the way. Miroku and Sango are waiting for you on the outside. If I'm not back in an hour, leave. I'll find a way back to you if I'm not dead."

Kagome felt her eyes water again and she flung herself at him. Inuyasha held her tight for a moment, a moment Alitash did not miss. Then Inuyasha pushed her away. "You know the way back?" Kagome nodded. "Good. Get her out of here." He turned to Alitash. "No promises this time, okay?"

Alitash nodded. She grabbed her sword and pressed it into his hand. "no, I can't," he said, surprised.

"You take this, you mangy cur and you get back to me, you hear?"

Inuyasha smiled. "Whatever, jungle bitch. Now go!"

Kagome and Alitash left, and Inuyasha was alone, conflicting emotions stirring in his gut. He didn't have time to think about them. He had to find Maiya.


	6. Chapter Six

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Title: Carry Me Home

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Rating: PG-13 and R for violence and occasional sexual implications

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Summary: Inuyasha's been wounded and is trapped in a sleep in which visions of a life he doesn't remember plague him. A life in which he was not a small child running from humans to become a nervous young man in love with a miko, but something else completely.

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Disclaimer: Copyright for Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and the author does not write for profit

****

Author(ess): bluefuzzyelf

Chapter Six

Inuyasha did not take the time to creep through all the cells. One or two youkai woke, but they merely looked at him through haunted eyes. Inuyasha strode past them, his mind fixed on one thing and one things only: Finding Maiya.

As he neared the cages, he tensed his body for battle. There were always guards at the cages. He came in sight of them and they shouted, lunging for him. Inuyasha jumped into the air and brought Alitash's sword down, pushing it deep into the man where his neck and shoulder met. A quick second later, another guard was missing a head. Inuyasha could smell the blood and felt his youkai blood reacting to it. He thrust the sword through the last guard, the body sliding off the tip of his blade and landing with a slushy 'thump' in the middle of a pool of blood. The stench was almost unbearable.

Inuyasha broke the chain over the door with a few good hacks and kicked it open. The smell hit him first, excrement and fear and pain and decay. Then the noises, moans and whimpers, the dry hacks of sick fighters. Inuyasha grimaced and steeled himself, grabbing a torch off the wall outside the door. He walked into the cages, where the sun never shined and you were lucky if you died quickly. He walked by each pit, each cage, looking in and seeing either dead and mummified or decaying bodies. The first live one he came across bore an uncanny resemblance to Taji, so Inuyasha let him out. He wasn't too emaciated, and was well enough to run when Inuyasha told him to.

Inuyasha decided to call for her.

"Maiya! Maiya!"

He heard a groan. "Maiya!"

Another moan. He walked quickly to the pit it was coming from and looked down. He was met with the thin, dirty face of Maiya, her green eyes nearly swollen shut and her mouth too dry to say anything. Her body was thin, but her belly bloated out like she was pregnant. She wore nothing but a few filthy rags. He nearly wept at the sight of her.

He hacked at the chains holding the grate in place with enough ferocity to break them in two hits. He flung back the lid and reached down, lifting the pitifully light form of his little one into his arms. He still held Alitash's broadsword, and stuck it one-handed into his sash. Then he gathered Maiya into his arms and carried her out. She coughed, trying to say something.

"Shh, Maiya, don't talk. I'm getting you out of here." He strode out of the cages and headed back down to the tunnel, stopping for some water and a small bit of bread at the recently deceased guard's quarters. He set Maiya down for a moment and covered her with the silk haori he wore and trickled a few drops of water down her throat.

She tried to speak again, and Inuyasha leaned close to hear. "I always knew you'd come," she said, a faint smile on her face. Inuyasha kissed her gently on the forehead and scooped her up into his arms again.

When he emerged, he was met with a battlefield. Several soldiers were lying dead around him, and Miroku was holding onto his arm, pain etched across his face. Sango was limping, and Alitash's claws her soaked in blood. Inuyasha looked frantically around and saw Kagome safe in the bushes with Shippou in her lap.

"Let's go," he said tersely. They left the city as fast as they could with no more disturbances. As they reached camp, the alarms went off in the city. Inuyasha carried Kagome on his back, Maiya in his arms. Kirara, who had shown up sometime in between the city and the campsite, carried Sango and Miroku, Shippou holding on to Kirara's fur. Alitash ran alone.

They traveled hard again, all through the night. By dawn, the city was far behind, and they could stop for a rest.

Inuyasha sat down heavily after letting Kagome off, still cradling Maiya in his arms. Alitash crawled over and laid her hand on the girl's head.

"Oh, Maiya." She curled up by Inuyasha's knee, her head right by Maiya's.

Kagome tended Miroku's wound and Sango wrapped up the little scratch she had gotten from a guard's sword.

Kagome turned to Inuyasha and felt a sudden definite pang of loneliness and the feeling that she didn't belong. Inuyasha was stroking Maiya's face as he trickled water down her throat. Alitash was cleaning her weapon, glancing every so often at the poor girl in Inuyasha's arms.

Kagome steeled herself and walked over. "Can I help?"

Inuyasha looked at her and she was bowled over by the pain evident in his eyes.

"Can you?"

Kagome brought over her bag and took a small baby bottle from it. She filled it with water and handed it to Inuyasha.

"Small sips, remember. I have some oatmeal in my bag that I can make too. It's soft and easy to get down." She started a fire and set water to boil. Then, as she waited, she watched Inuyasha feed the girl in his arms. She had never seen him so open with his emotions, had never seen him care so much for the life of one person. She felt like an outsider. She didn't know this new Inuyasha, this commander of men and calm planner of infiltrations. He was a new breed altogether, a man in his own right and completely new territory to her. Was her Inuyasha in there anywhere?

That water boiled, and she mixed some instant oatmeal. She brought it over to Inuyasha.

"May I?"

He looked at her and nodded. Kagome sat by him, next to Maiya's head. She fed the girl tiny spoonful by tiny spoonful, going at a slow pace until all the oatmeal was gone and the girl asleep.

"This is Maiya?"

Inuyasha nodded. Alitash saw his distress and spoke for him. "She was our baby sister. We took care of her, Inuyasha most of all." She stood. "Can I can to you alone?"

Kagome nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear in way that make Inuyasha's stomach flip. She left with Alitash a ways off, out of earshot for even Inuyasha's hearing.

Alitash faced her, arms crossed under a voluptuous chest. "Who are you to Inuyasha?"

Kagome blinked. "What?"

"Who are you to Inuyasha?"

Kagome blushed a bit. "I'm his shard detector. I find the shards of the Shikon jewel for him."

Alitash narrowed her eyes at the younger girl. "He does not look at you as one might a tool."

Kagome frowned. "Look, there's no need to get jealous. I know he doesn't feel like that for me, and I'm dealing with it. You don't have to worry about me getting in your way!"

Alitash grinned, throwing Kagome off. "You're lying to yourself, little one. I know how he looks at one he loves. You mustn't blame him for loving more than one. He'll decide, in his own time."

"And in the meantime, are you going to be sharing his bed?"

Alitash guffawed. "My, my, a sharp as a viper. Perhaps. But his bed doesn't belong to one woman solely until he's is mated. And he's not mated." Her eyes turned serious. "Listen to me, young one. I waited over fifty years for him. My love for him is as strong as it ever was. I know him better than he knows himself, sometimes. Tell me, can you claim the same? Would you wait for him?" Her voice was not accusatory, but inquisitive.

Kagome glared. "I would wait for him beyond this life and into the afterlife."

Alitash nodded. "But do you _know_ him? Do you _listen_ to him, little one?" Kagome didn't speak. "I did not think so. You strike me as the kind of woman who easily assumes things and is stubborn to change your view. The Inuyasha you knew is gone. I didn't know him, nor do I know if I would've loved him like I love this Inuyasha, but I know that the man sitting over there is capable of many things, and that includes loving more than one woman."

"Are you warning me off or telling me to go ahead?"

Alitash grinned. "I am telling you that you need to relax. One thing you learn in the cells is that no one is monogamous."

Kagome frowned. "He is. He was so devoted to Kikyou that"

"He thinks that that relationship was fated to doom. That the feelings he had towards this miko were so easily turned to hate makes him wonder if they were meant to be. See, my little priestess, you have much to learn about our hanyou."

"You know his mind, do you?"

"No," Alitash admitted readily. "But I can read him. There's something in his eyes that was never there when he looked at me, and it's there when he looks at you. I'm asking you if you would wait because he'll come."

"Are you going to ask me if I would die for him too?"

"No, because that's easy. I'm going to ask you if you'll live for him."

Kagome opened her mouth, and then stopped. Alitash smiled, a real smile.

"I don't want to compete with you, because it'd be futile. Let us have our time before it ends. We never got to finish what we started. I want you to know him like I do, because that's what he'll need. Pay attention to him, miko. Learn him like I did." She grinned wickedly then. "But hold off on the mapping of his body until I'm gone, okay?"

Kagome laughed in spite of herself. "I know my Inuyasha, but this new man is completely different."

"I'll help you."

"You'd help me learn how to steal his love for you?"

"No, because one can't steal love from another. I'm willing to share his heart, Kagome, because I'm content with any bit of his heart."

Kagome looked at the older woman, her eyes shining in gratitude. "Thank you."

"It's no problem. I've never had a quarrel with sharing. Besides," she said, scanning Kagome's body, "you're one I wouldn't mind sharing my bed and my man with."

Alitash laughed long and hard as Kagome squealed and blushed to her feet.

Inuyasha was talking to Maiya softly as the other two women in his life went to have a talk. He explained everything to her and apologized again and again for not being there for her. She raised a weak hand and placed it on his face. She smiled. "I always knew you'd come for us. There's no reason," she coughed, "to say sorry. Now, could I get a bath?"

Inuyasha laughed a bit. "Yeah. It won't be as nice as an actual bath, but I think I can handle a little cleaning up."

He set her gently on a bedroll and heated some water over the fire. Luckily, most of it was still warm. He sniffed out where the water came from and located a small stream running right by where they had collapsed.

The water was hot and Inuyasha took a small cloth from Kagome's bag and wet it, sponging the dirt and filth off Maiya's face. Pale skin was slowly revealed, a small cut on her cheek festering. As he moved down, washing her neck and shoulders, he noticed bruises and other small slices in her skin. He held back his rage and was happy to think of the three very dead guards he had left laying dead in their own blood.

Inuyasha cleaned Maiya as well as he could. He placed a blanket over her chest and his haori over her most private of areas and sponged off her stomach and legs. She giggled she he cleaned the backs of her knees. He was glad to note that her stomach was back to normal and she didn't seem as weak as she had before. She was still frail, muscles that hadn't been used in years just waking back up, her body too thin for her height.

He was working on her legs when Kagome and Alitash returned. He was relieved to find that some of the tension that had been between them before had dissipated. He wondered what they talked about.

Maiya smiled at Alitash and held out her hand. Alitash knelt by the girl and gripped her hand. "We weren't sure if you were still alive."

Maiya smiled. "I stayed alive because I knew you'd get me out."

Alitash smiled, her eyes brimming with tears. "I love you, little sister." She kissed Maiya on her forehead. Inuyasha went about cleaning the infected sores on Maiya's body.

Miroku and Sango, who had been suspiciously absent, returned soon with freshly caught fish and a rabbit, which Shippou carried in proud paws.

"Look, Inuyasha! I caught a rabbit!" The corners of Inuyasha's mouth kicked up.

"Did you?"

"Yeah! All by myself! My foxfire is a lot stronger now, and all I had to do was scare it towards me. Here. It's for you."

Inuyasha ruffled the kit's hair. "Thanks runt."

Kagome held out her arms for the fox. He jumped into them readily. She held him to her tightly as she observed the new Inuyasha, the one shaped by the arena and not solely by betrayal. He was gentler with Maiya than she could've imagined and more tolerant of Shippou. The kit had obviously started growing up sometime during their trip. She pressed a small kiss to his temple.

Miroku and Sango set about cooking dinner while Shippou entertained himself with a coloring book. Alitash had been intrigued by it and was now watching avidly as Shippou splashed the pages with vibrant color.

Kagome dressed Maiya in the set of green robes she had worn the day before. They suited the pale girl, bringing out her luminous eyes and setting off her dark hair.

When dinner was ready, Kagome set a bowl of ramen in front of Miroku and Inuyasha. She handed out portions of fish and rabbit as well. Miroku did not eat meat, but he did not push the others to give it up either.

Inuyasha ate his ramen with his customized speed and his portion of rabbit. He then sat by Maiya, tipping some of the leftover broth down her throat. She smiled brilliantly at him, still pretty much unable to move.

Alitash watched them with affection in her face, polishing her sword. She worked on it until it was as reflective as a mirror. Beds were made and the fire was banked. Shippou was already fast asleep in Kagome's sleeping bag as usual, after marking it with his distinctive scent that screamed 'MINE!' to anything with even a decent nose. Alitash had raised her eyebrows at that, but Inuyasha had just rolled his eyes.

Inuyasha and Alitash stayed up far after the others had succumbed to sleep. Inuyasha was absently fiddling with his sword, twirling it in front of him, staring at the flames. Alitash watched him, trying to decipher his life from his face. He looked at her, his eyes on fire from the firelight.

"You didn't remember." It was not a question.

"No. And see where it got me. Pinned to a tree for fifty years."

Tash raised an eyebrow. "So how come no one let you out until Kagome?"

Inuyasha sighed. "They thought I killed Kikyou. This guy she was tending had a thing for her and gave his soul to demons so he could move again. He'd been burned in a fire. He became Naraku and attacked Kikyou when she was supposed to meet me with the jewel. He clawed her. When Kikyou didn't meet me, I thought she'd betrayed me and I went on a rampage, destroying the village. I grabbed the jewel and ran into the forest. She caught up to me and shot me."

Tash narrowed her eyes. "Uh huh. Short version. And why was she going to give you the jewel?"

Inuyasha didn't answer.

"Yash," Tash said, her voice a warning.

"I was going to use it to become human. If you make a pure wish on it, it's supposed to disappear. I was going to turn human so Kikyou and I could live together. All she ever wanted was to be a normal woman."

"Human!" Alitash took a drink of water. "Human."

Inuyasha looked down. "Yeah. Then Kagome came and freed me from the spell."

"Why?"

"Because I woke up and told her if she didn't want to get killed by the giant centipede attacking us, she'd better get me down. She pulled it right out and it disintegrated."

"What aren't you telling me?"

"A lot."

"Like what?"

"Like Kagome's the reincarnation of Kikyou. Like she was born with the Shikon jewel in her hip. Like that's the only reason I woke up. Like Kikyou's now wandering the earth, eating souls and intent on dragging my soul to hell." Inuyasha took a long drag of water.

"She's alive? How?"

"No, she's very much dead. She'd made out of clay. Some evil miko made her and brought her back to life with a bit of Kagome's soul. All that fuels her is her hatred for me. She still wants my life, even though she knows Naraku was to blame." He paused.

"Kagome broke the jewel with a magic arrow, trying to stop the crow that was flying off with it. It shattered, and we've been looking for all the shards to put them back together, as well as searching for Naraku. We've all got a reason to kill him."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. The monk has an inherited hole in his hand that will suck up anything in its way. Naraku cursed his grandfather, and so now the curse will continue until the last of Miroku's line dies of Naraku is killed."

"Why is he in such a hurry?"

"He won't make it past twenty-five. The hole will suck him up. It gets bigger every day.

"Sango's family was murdered by Naraku. She comes from a long line of taijiya. Her brother is being controlled by Naraku to do his bidding."

"Shippou?"

"Well, he lost his parents, but it was to a pair of demons we killed already. He has just as much reason to hate Naraku as the rest of us though. The man is evil, in every sense of the word.

"He's also a hanyou."

"What?" Alitash's deceptive doe-eyes widened.

"Yeah."

Alitash stared into the flame. "What about Kagome?"

"Huh? What about her?"

"Why does she follow you?"

"She's the only one who can sense the jewel shards."

Alitash gave him a Look. "You couldn't ever manage lie to me, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha sighed. "Because she cares. She cares more than anyone I've ever known. Her heart is so pure Tash. It's like nothing I've ever heard of. She can purify a shard with a touch."

"Why do you let her follow you?"

"Because I care. I know she thinks it's because she looks like Kikyou, but it's not. That girl will worm her way into your heart with no effort. It's a good thing she's on **our** side."

"I've seen the way you look at her."

Inuyasha looked at Alitash. Her skin glowed in the firelight and her eyes were big and expressive.

"I still love you, Tash. It's a fierce as ever, because it's all like it just happened to me. But," he looked away, "I can't explain it. I don't know how I feel."

"Would you die for her?"

"I nearly do every day. That girl gets into more trouble than Maiya."

"I noticed," she replied dryly. "She took up with you, didn't she?" Inuyasha whapped at her. "Well, I get it. You're torn between your dead love and her reincarnation. That's only slightly twisted."

"Ha ha. She makes me feel like I'm home. I didn't know it at the time, but she gives me the same feeling you did, Tash."

"And now I'm back, along with a life you didn't know you had."

Inuyasha smiled. "I'm not complaining. Yet." He leaned towards her, one hand resting on fire-heated skin. She focussed her eyes on his mouth. When they met, it was as fiery and passionate as ever. Her curled his hands around her brown skin, running them across the smooth planes of her back. She buried her fingers in his hair, nipping at his mouth. She could feel him smile against her lips.

Alitash moved to straddle his waist and he placed his hands on the smooth curves of her waist. They didn't stop kissing. Alitash moved her hands into his shirt, caressing his hard chest.

Miroku shifting in his sleep was what broke the mood. They both started and froze, then laughed at each other and Alitash twisted around, sitting in-between his legs.

"Oh, no, don't do that," Inuyasha said, his mouth at the back of her neck. "We'll get started again."

Alitash laughed. She climbed out of his lap, ignoring the small whimper he let loose at her absence.

"Good night, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha leveled a glare at her, but smiled all the same. He leaped into a tree.

"Good night, Tash."

Neither noticed Kagome close glistening eyes and breathe her own good night into the cool, uncaring night air.


	7. Chapter Seven

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Title: Carry Me Home

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Rating: PG-13 and R for violence and occasional sexual implications

****

Summary: Inuyasha's been wounded and is trapped in a sleep in which visions of a life he doesn't remember plague him. A life in which he was not a small child running from humans to become a nervous young man in love with a miko, but something else completely.

****

Disclaimer: Copyright for Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and the author does not write for profit

****

Author(ess): bluefuzzyelf

Chapter Seven

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Raidon walked over to where Inuyasha sat. The hanyou had a wistful look on his face.

"What are you thinking about?" the youkai asked, sitting down himself.

Inuyasha stared at the wall. "Home."

"Ah," said Raidon. "I have a family waiting for me. A beautiful wife and baby daughter. Do you have anyone waiting for you?"

Inuyasha looked down. His father was dead, his mother was dead and his brother hated him. "No."

The other youkai nodded. There was a moment of silence. "Do you think we'll ever see our homes again?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "I don't know." Another pause.

"Tell me about your homeland."

Inuyasha took a breath, his eyes lighting up. "It's beautiful. The grasses grow high enough to brush my chest, and the forests are filled with life. So green and so warm in summer. It's not a peaceful land, but it's my home."

"I grew up in a colder climate. The harvest was my favorite time of year. I am a simple farmer, with love in my heart for three things. My farm, my wife, and my little girl."

Inuyasha closed his eyes. "You'll get back to them."

Raidon smiled gratefully. He placed a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder. "Thank you, my friend." The tawny wolf youkai stood and left, leaving Inuyasha with visions of his home.

Inuyasha walked through the sea of grass, memories floating to the surface of his mind like languid bubbles. He ran one hand along the tips of the grass, enjoying the tickling sensation. Picking a spot in the middle of the field, Inuyasha lay down and stared at the blue sky, entranced by its color. A cloud floated by, the wind changing its shape slowly.

It was confusing. He had two lives in his head, two ways of living and he couldn't decide which was right, which was the way he was supposed to be. He'd been acting like the Inuyasha of the arena lately. He couldn't wrap his mind around half the things he knew.

Somethings he did were reflex or instinct, ingrained into his brain. The feelings he had for Alitash were strong, and he knew herand yet he did not. On one hand, he was a commander and lover and on the other hand, he was a young teenager still in love with a dead miko and unaware of women in general. His alternate self seemed to know just what to do, was not shy or reserved around women. He spoke out, didn't mask himself or throw up walls, because walls in a cell would get you killed.

His other had grown up fighting, just like he had. But the lifestyle was so different. Fifteen years was not long for a youkai, but fifteen years of memories were a little daunting.

It brought it down to one question.

Who was he?

Inuyasha lay still, staring at the sky and willing himself not to think. Alitash, Kikyou and Kagome would have to wait. Naraku would have to wait.

For a while, Inuyasha just existed.

Kagome bit her lip for the third time that morning. Inuyasha had stalked off to who knew where, Alitash was being annoyingly silent and her other friends seemed reluctant to even look anywhere but the ground, much less engage in conversation.

Alitash looked up from her food. "Are you always this quiet?" She was used to the deafening sounds of crowds cheering and men fighting.

Miroku smiled serenely. "Not all the time, Alitash-sama." Alitash truly looked at the monk and a grin spread over her features. Sango looked angry.

Silence reigned in the campsite. Alitash was alternating between calm and cheerful and dangerous and feral. It was unnerving to say the least. Kagome wished Inuyasha would hurry up. She wanted to get back to the village, where the comfort of home lay.

Miroku and Sango were having a small conversation where they sat, Shippou snoring happily at their feet. Kagome eyed the kit fondly. He was growing up so quickly.

A sudden jerk at her senses had Kagome looking up abruptly. "Two shards. This way. Fast."

Before Sango or Miroku could even stand, a whirlwind of dirt had arrived in front of Kagome. The cloud dispersed to reveal a very toothy Kouga. He quickly took up Kagome's hands, either ignoring or oblivious to her slight inward movement, as if pulling herself as much into herself as possible.

He smiled at her, eyes soft. "Yo."

"Hi Kouga," said Kagome a bit nervously, wondering where Inuyasha was and reversing her earlier wish. She had no desire to witness another fight between the two youkai. Alitash watched rather amusedly, her eyes darting to the wolf youkai's strong defined legs more than once. Shippou, perched on Miroku's shoulder, shared the same look of amusement as Alitash.

Unfortunately for Kagome, her second wish was not to be granted.

Inuyasha came skidding back into the camp site, his fangs and claws bared. Alitash looked at him in alarm, then back to Kouga. Her glance was clearly saying something along the lines of "If he is enemy, why does she not run?"

Kouga wrinkled his nose at Inuyasha and let go of Kagome. "Hey, dog turd, what're you doing here in the Eastern Lands?"

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. "I could ask you the same thing, wimpy wolf."

Alitash let out a noise suspiciously like a laugh. Inuyasha glanced at her and she mouthed "Wimpy wolf?" at him. He blushed, causing more suppressed laughter from the panther youkai.

"I'm researchin' a lead." He placed his arms across Kagome's shoulders. Inuyasha let out a growl. "Take your hands off Kagome."

"She's my woman, I can do what I want."

"She's not your woman!" Inuyasha pulled Tetsusaiga. Alitash looked at it in amazement as the rusty old katana transformed into a gleaming fang. Inuyasha took a swipe at Kouga that he quickly eluded. Kagome scurried off the battlefield. Alitash watched the hanyou with slitted eyes. He was swinging like an amateur, relying on brute strength.

Kagome's fists were balled and her fingernails were digging into her palms as she watched Inuyasha and Kouga go at it again, trading insults. If she had been a cat, her fur would've bristled.

"Inuyasha! _Osuwari_!"

Alitash watched in horror as Inuyasha was brought down by a spell, slamming his face into the ground. Kouga let out a chuckle and stepped over the prone dog demon to walk back towards Kagome. He never made it to her.

Alitash had taken a flying leap at the wolf youkai, forcing him to the ground, one hand on his neck, claws extended. She was hissing furiously. Kouga, eyes wide, didn't move. He wondered for a quick moment who the wildcat was, but then was occupied straining his neck away from deadly sharp claws.

"Alitash!" Three voices chorused, all with varying degrees of worry.

"Let him go!" cried Kagome.

"Kouga's a friend," spoke Sango, placing a hand on Alitash's shoulder.

"He means no harm," Miroku said.

"He is an enemy of Inuyasha's, he is an enemy of mine."

"Oh, please, let him up!" Kagome implored. Alitash turned brightly burning dark eyes on her.

"I have not even _begun_ with you yet," she said maliciously. Kagome gasped.

"He really is a good guy," Sango said. Alitash looked up to find Inuyasha standing, looking a bit dirty but otherwise fine. He nodded, scowling. She stood.

Kouga pushed himself up and brushed himself off. "Who's she?" he asked over his shoulder at Inuyasha. "Didn't think full demons went around with the likes of you."

Alitash hissed and bared her fangs. Kouga took an involuntary step back.

"Her name is Alitash. I suggest you don't anger her." And just like someone had thrown a switch, Inuyasha changed to the Inuyasha of the arena. Alitash felt relieved and Kagome worried simultaneously.

The panther youkai grinned fiercely, her teeth incredibly white against dark skin. Kouga tried not to look unnerved.

"Get out of here, wolf. We have no need of you."

Kouga looked at Inuyasha, looking offended and confused. He decided to leave. He had a lead to investigate and his hate for Naraku won out over his love for Kagome. "Take care of my woman, dog turd, while I'm gone!" he threw as a parting shot, gone in a whirlwind of dirt before Inuyasha could say anything.

The hanyou scowled after the wolf and muttered, "She's _not_ your woman."

Miroku and Sango, who had watched the exchange wisely silent, joined the group again.

"Perhaps he had a good lead to Naraku Inuyasha. You shouldn't have made him leave."

The look Inuyasha gave Sango was enough to frighten anyone weaker than an experienced demon killer. "We can find him without the wolf's help."

Alitash sat down and watched the dynamics between her hanyou's pack.

"But"

"No buts, Kagome. I'm not working with him, even to find Naraku."

"How do you propose to find someone whose scent had disappeared?" asked Miroku, one eyebrow raised. Inuyasha was saved from answering by Maiya stirring. He was instantly by her side.

"Maiya?"

She opened her eyes. "Inuyasha. Who was here?"

"Just an idiot wolf."

"Oi!" Inuyasha smiled at her. His eyes grew worried when she sat up, but she stared him down. "Down boy. I'm feeling fine. The sleep did me good. And the food." She cast a grateful glance towards Kagome. "And now, over more food, you will regale me with all the adventures that kept you away fro so long."

Alitash had not forgotten the great injustice done to Inuyasha by Kagome and woke the girl roughly when she was sure the others were asleep.

"What? Is there something wrong?" The girl was almost immediately awake.

"You and I need to talk."

Kagome sat up. "What about?" Her face was innocent, but Alitash did not waver.

"About thatcontraption you've put on Inuyasha. The collar."

Kagome frowned. "It's just to keep him from being stupid."

Alitash hissed._ "He is no lapdog_! He is no pet, to be brought to heel!"

Kagome looked bewildered. "I don't treat him like a pet-!"

"You've collared and leashed him! If he does something you do not like or do not understand, you tell him to sit! A command for a dog! You treat him as badly or worse than demons ever did."

Kagome's eyes widened. "ButI didn'twhat?"

"You've done the unforgivable, bitch. I can't believe he didn't claw your throat out for what you've done to him."

"That's why it's there in the first place! When we first met, he was trying to kill me!"

"If he'd been trying, you'd be dead." Alitash shook her head disgustedly at Kagome. "And you say you love him."

Kagome blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Alitash."

The panther jumped. Inuyasha was watching them from his resting place in a tree. Something in his eyes made her drop her head and slink back to her own sleeping area, though not without one last nasty look at Kagome. The miko looked up at the hanyou. He looked back for a moment, his eyes unreadable.

"Go to sleep. We rise early."

Kagome lay back onto her mat, snuggling closer to Shippou for comfort. Tears leaked out her eyes for the second night in row as she tried to sleep.

Alitash fumed silently, staring at the banked embers of the fire. The stupid girl had totally control over Inuyasha. What if that battle with Kouga had been serious? She could've killed him! It terrified her, his life being placed in the inexperienced hands of a young girl with no idea what was going on. She may have been pure and forgiving and yada, yada, yada, but she was just plain ignorant! Did she know nothing? How could one so loving and nurturing fail to see what a blow being collared was to a dog demon?

A hand laid gently upon her shoulder and she looked up, braids clinking gently. She met the gold eyes of Inuyasha. He didn't say anything, just looked at her, but that look contained more than anything he could have said. She rubbed her cheek along his hand, saying she understood. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and was gone again.


End file.
